Ennui. What a funny looking word. Ennui. Ahn-wee. From the French . It looks nothing like it is pronounced. Ahhhhn-weeeeee. I love the way it rolls off the tongue. It’s an interesting word, because it has more than one accepted pronunciation. AHN-wee or ahn-WEE, your choice. A feeling of utter discontent resulting from a lack of interest. Ennui is a literary word, not a spoken word. I’ve never heard anyone say they suffer from ennui. Most people just say they’re bored. Ennui seems a little more sinister, almost menacing. Very French.  Can you imagine this conversation?

Good Morning, Clyde.

Mornin’ Lester, how you feeling?

Well sir, I got the ennui.

No lie? I’m sorry to hear that.

Yep. I was standing on the porch having my coffee this morning…everything was just hunky dory one minute, and the next minute, I just didn’t give a rat’s patooey. So I figure it must be the ennui.

Yep. Sounds like it. I hear it’s goin’ round.

Ennui seems to best describe how I’m feeling right now.

I turn 60 in a few days. Sunday to be exact. God help the person who says to me, “age is just a number,” or “you’re only as old as you feel.” Only a much younger person would say something like that, thinking they’re being sympathetic rather than patronizing, as if one needs sympathy at this age. 60 IS a number. A fairly significant one. Pretty soon it will be my number. Two of my closest friends also turned 60 this year. One got a divorce, and the other bought a Harley. I suspect my reaction will be somewhere in between.

Once I turn 60, it means that I will be closer to 80 than to 40. It means that I have a lot less time to get IT right than I once had. IT being life. There are things I still wish to accomplish, and there are definite things about myself I want to work on. I plan to quit smoking. I plan to be a better husband and father and grandfather, less judgemental and more accepting. I have gained a lot of knowledge in my 60 years, but my real goal is wisdom. Seek and ye shall find.

I so hope that is true.