All of you who love children who wear helmets and ride the short bus to school take heart: They too can grow up and be a Republican candidate for president. I guarantee they’ll act more maturely. Between the CNN and Fox News coverages of the race for the Republican nomination, we no longer need to watch Saturday Night Live or Comedy Central. They have become redundant. The straight coverage is hysterical enough. Herman Cain/Rick Perry is my new dream ticket. Theirs is a fight to see who can out stupid the other. If a box of hammers were to enter the race tomorrow, it would be smarter than these two.

Friends of mine who are in a position to know tell me that insiders at the Republican National Committee believe two things: 1) Mitt Romney is going to be the nominee  2) He can’t win. The plan is to cede the presidency to Obama, maintain their majority in the House, and put their main efforts into winning the Senate. Considering the viciousness of previous Virginia races, next year’s predicted match up between Tim Kaine and George Allen should make cage fighting look like a pre-K play date.

Electoral politics has become so predictable in this country. Candidates don’t tell us what they are for, just what they are against. They paint their opponent as not only the anti-christ but anti-American as well. They don’t want to just beat their opponent; they want to beat him so badly he won’t get up. Ever. Their side is always right, and the other side is always wrong.

Last week’s events in Libya is a prime example. From start to finish, the Obama Administration spent about 2 billion dollars to get Gaddafi. Sure, it was a young Libyan who hauled Gaddafi out of a drain pipe, shoved a stick up his ass (for real) and shot him in the head, but make no bones about it. Obama got him. Working with our NATO allies, the US helped destabilize the Gaddafi regime. Our intelligence located his convoy, and our predator drone and a French fighter pilot shot up the convoy making Gaddafi’s capture possible. Obama brought about the downfall of another despot without having to put a single boot on the ground.

Less than 24 hours later, Sen. Mark Rubio (R-Fl), a rising star in the Republican Party, was on TV criticizing the president for not having done it sooner… in February. Memo to Sen. Rubio: Fuuuuuuuuuuck Youuuuuuuuuuuu!

The time has come to Occupy America, have a Party, serve some Tea, and barbecue our current crop of do nothing politicians.