When I first moved to Wythe County, I was determined to become studiously ignorant. My friend Liza Fields says it’s the only way to avoid pain. Living in the Metro DC area, regardless of what you do, will eventually turn you into an information junkie. After all, DC is the political center of the universe, and information is political heroin. You just gotta have it; first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Withdrawal is painful. Losing access to the Washington Post is like losing a member of your family. Not having 24 hour nonstop news radio? Fuggedaboutit.

When I started coming down here seven years ago to work on Our Humble Little Cottage, I went cold turkey. I had no television or internet. Because of the relationship of Cottage to mountains, we still don’t have decent radio reception. It was just me, the Cottage, and my CD collection. Life was good. Then I started chipping. I figured what the hell; buying a little TV to watch DVDs on wouldn’t hurt. Then, like most addicts, I had a relapse. I was heavily invested in the stock market at the time and really needed my info. Enter Direct TV, followed closely by satellite internet and the monkey was back. CNN and CNBC became my drugs of choice.

The thing about the news is that it’s mostly depressing. The who, what, where, when, why, and how will make you nuts. Particularly since it’s mostly about the who and the why. The steady assault of personality-driven news and comment has led this country down the slippery slope. We’ve lost all civility and become a nation of me firsters because the constant demand for content rewards assholes. Everybody and his fuckin’ brother are demanding their fifteen minutes of fame, and I’m sick of it.

Not only that, I’m tired of being judged. Some time when I wasn’t paying attention, the source of your news became an issue. Apparently, watching CNN instead of Fox News makes me an anti-Christian communist. What’s that all about?

I’m tired of starting my day depressed. Despite the fact that I’ll miss Robin’s legs and Bonnie’s hooters, I’m going with YouTube. I guaran-damn-tee that watching a fifteen minute excerpt of Ron White’s You Can’t Fix Stupid will put you in a much better frame of mind than a report on Sarah Palin’s magical mystery tour.

All I have to do to figure out what’s going on in the world is watch the gas prices at the Flying J. If prices are up, the news is bad. If they’re down, things aren’t necessarily good, but they aren’t disastrous. So until Sarah’s sex tape hits the internet, I don’t want to hear about it. When it does, call me.

P.S. Would someone please make a comment so the rest of the world won’t think I’m Linda Myers’ bitch?

For most of the last 6 years that I’ve been here, the Flying J Truck Stop in Ft. Chiswell has not only had the best price in the area, they’ve had one of the best prices in the whole state. But the Flying J chain has been sold to the Pilot Oil Corporation and for some reason there has been no customary price fluctuation. At both the Ft. Chiswell and the Flying J and Hess truck stops at exit 77, the price has been holding steady around $2.739 for weeks.

For any of you folks up north reading this who plan on passing thru the area, I suggest you take exit 73 off I-81 and gas up at the Go Mart. Skip the fast food joints and the national chains and head down the street to Smokey’s BBQ. As a former chef, who grew up outside Fayetteville, NC, I make the best damn cue anywhere, but his North Carolina-style chopped pork barbecue sandwich is pretty good. With cole slaw on top, of course.

Blog Roll Change

Speaking of the cheapest gas, I’ve changed the link that supplies the cheapest gas info for the Max Meadows/Ft. Chiswell area. The previous link required active participation by the suppliers, and Flying J was the only one participating. The new link gives much wider coverage. For instance, a Barren Springs independent station lists regular gas at $2.449 today. You can also check prices in Wytheville, Speedwell, and Rural Retreat. Check it out!